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Every single time we suppress ourselves in order to be liked or to avoid conflict, criticism, rejection, disappointment, loss or abandonment, we are people pleasing. Done regularly or most of the time, it has catastrophic effects on our wellbeing and quality of life. It doesn’t have to be this way.


Hi, I’m Natalie, and I’m an author, self-publisher, blogger and podcaster. I’ve been inspiring and teaching people online for over 18 years, and I’m the founder of Baggage Reclaim, a self-help blog aimed at helping people break the patterns that block them being in loving relationships and having healthy self-esteem.

I’m on a mission to help as many people as possible to help themselves to quit people pleasing, a toxic habit that erodes our mental health, sense of self, relationships, creativity – everything.

The roots

My journey from emotionally unavailable people pleaser with a chronic illness and bleak outlook, to raised self-esteem, a loving relationship, healthier relationships with family, motherhood and branching out on my own creatively, has served as an inspiration to millions of people over the years. I’m living proof that despite trauma and abandonment in childhood, along with years of hating and doubting myself, that we can go on to do the things that, at one point, we thought would have to wait until we’d ‘fixed’ ourselves and were ‘perfect enough’.

Losing my father in March 2017 served as a new awakening for me. Whisperings, niggles, being unsettled, and a desire to expand kept calling my attention, sometimes in painful ways. I felt lost and confused. With time on my hands to grieve and explore, I kept looking for signs. Nothing jumped out at me so I decided to ‘get back to work’ after several weeks of discovering that I could, indeed, do less and feel far more fulfilled than when I was frazzled trying to do ‘everything’.

One day in June 2017 as I stood in the shower (great place for inspiration by the way), I realised that what lights me up, what I can’t get enough of, and where I feel a calling, is around the epidemic of people pleasing. Just like back in August 2005 when I paid attention to the fact that I kept being sought out for advice and that people took inspiration from how I overcame my past and various challenges, seventeen years on, I’m in the same place. This time, though, it’s about guiding people on how to own themselves and how to work with their intuition and authenticity to lead happier, more harmonious lives.

The funny thing is that it took a year from my light bulb moment to begin birthing this work — and that experience in and of itself is packed full of learning moments that I’ll share.


I have a hell of a lot to say about our relationship with our inner self and how that, and specifically, the people-pleasing habit, significantly impacts our relationship with everything. From creativity to money, to career and business, to how we parent, how much we struggle to meet our goals and, of course, to whether we create healthy boundaries in the first place. I’m frequently asked to put on my ‘Baggage Reclaim hat’ and help people figure out their confidence, creativity, career and business potholes, and I have to pay deeper attention to this.

My mission is to help as many people as possible to help themselves to become more of who they really are.

I want to do my little bit in the world to help people heal and to spread compassion and light. I believe that women have an unparalleled opportunity to leave their footprints. Let’s seize it.


Natalie Lue is a thought leader on relationships and human behaviour. Her no-nonsense yet compassionate and humorous take has garnered her a following in over 140 countries, and she’s been featured in the likes of The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR and the BBC. A blogger, author, speaker, podcaster and artist, her self-published books, including Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, The No Contact Rule and Love, Care, Trust & Respect, have sold 150K+ copies, and her podcast, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, has over 3 million downloads and has been turned into a highly popular Shortcast (short versions of podcast episodes) for non-fiction app, Blinkist. Harper Horizon, an imprint of HarperCollins, will publish her next book, The Joy of Saying No, in January 2023.

Drawing on lessons and observations not just from her own personal transformation from low self-esteem and a penchant for emotionally unavailable men, but from wisdom gleaned from observing interpersonal relationships and the many stories people share with her, she’s become a go-to source for self-help that doesn’t feel or look like self-help, and her message applies in all areas of life. 

She is the founder of self-help blog, Baggage Reclaim as well as the original founder of Bambino Goodies, the kids’ lifestyle blog. Born in England, raised in Dublin, Ireland, she’s based in South East London with her husband, two daughters and crazy cockerpoo. A full-time blogger for over fourteen years, she worked in advertising in her previous career. Her current work centres around people pleasing, boundaries (she’s quite obsessed with work boundaries!), mindfulness and creativity. 

The relationship columnist for In The Moment magazine until the pandemic shuttered it in spring 2020, she speaks at events like The Mindful Living Show, Blogtacular, Janet Murray’s #2022 (and 2020 and 2021) Courageous Content Live conference and Black British Bloggers Keep Growing virtual conference. She’s also given talks to Amazon (US) women’s network, Blinkist, and other companies, and prior to the pandemic, had started teaching workshops on the power of journaling to primary school children.

A 90s raver at heart with a love of reading, making (currently obsessed with embroidery and fibre art), painting, drawing, journaling, yoga, travel and design, she’s been wheat free for over a decade and started running in 2018 –and completed the London Marathon four months later.

Baggage Reclaim and Natalie Lue in the media