The way that you treat you and the thoughts that you feed you matters. Profound shifts take place with people pleasing when you become more conscious, aware and present by noticing when, where and why your inner pleaser is activated.
Be open to unlearning
Adulthood is about unlearning all of the unproductive and downright harmful lessons that you’ve picked up along the way. Old coping mechanisms and negative beliefs are not supposed to be your default setting. Repeat problems are an invitation to see what you couldn’t see before. Every problem you experience has a purpose — your growth.
Compromising your needs, expectations, desires, feelings and opinions dims your light. Being visible is about representing who you are through showing up and stepping up, particularly in those times when you fear “making waves” or being “needy” or “rude”.
Love, Care, Trust & Respect
If you strive to come from a place of love, care, trust and respect, you will learn to respect your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual boundaries and discover where you end and others begin. This is the self-care of living by your values, not others. Lighten your load and you will experience more compassion, creativity, purpose and joy.
People pleasing is something that temporarily relieves tension but that essentially caters to old pain. It’s a block to intimacy because you’re not being yourself. You’ve got to feel to heal. Journaling, writing out your feelings and thoughts, is an incredibly transformative process that connects you to your innermost self.
Be more you
The answer to pretty much everything that leaves you feeling crappy is to be more you. How? By being/doing all the things you would if only you weren’t so busy talking yourself out of them and trying to be all things to all people.